I took this body as far as I could, found nothing more in trying than failure. My investment cost and left me weakened, let the pretence slip and slide into the live. I endured everything in order to receive nothing. Yet wanted to be changed. Transformed on some level.
Tangible? Can I see it? Or do I merely feel a sense of muddled loss?
Leaving something behind. Never knowing exactly what that was. Remembering the event less and less, not able to find what is there, let alone what was lost.
If I do this again, repeated it moreover, will I become something new? Will I leave so much behind that I become different? It this going to be worth it in the end?
Does it even matter?
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